When Values Clash: The Quiet Battle Behind Leaving Organizations

Recently, I listened to Jerry Greenfield’s resignation letter from Ben & Jerry’s. His words resonated with me in a way that went far beyond ice cream or business. I thought: I know this feeling. I’ve lived it too.

Not at the same scale, of course — I don’t co-lead a global brand with decades of impact. But the essence of why Jerry is stepping away is something I’ve experienced many times: the painful conflict between what we sign up for in an organization and the reality we encounter over time.

The Hidden Conflict of Alignment

When we join an organization, a collective, or even a board, there’s often an implicit contract. We align on a vision. We agree on values. We commit to a shared dream of the impact we want to have.

But when those values aren’t lived — when the behaviors contradict what was promised — something shifts. At first, it shows up as frustration. Over time, it can lead to disconnection, even isolation. We begin to wonder: Wasn’t there a psychological contract at the start? Where did our values go?

In one of my recent board experiences, I witnessed clear violations of very basic values. A few of us spoke up, but most stayed silent. And I kept asking myself: Are they not seeing it? Not feeling it? Or are they protecting something they feel they can’t risk?

The truth is, everyone has their own timing, their own process, and their own stake. Some people stay quiet because they feel they have too much to lose. Others because they’re simply not at the same point of awareness. But that doesn’t make it easier for those who do feel compelled to act.

Systems Are Built by People — and Can Be Changed by People

This is not just about small organizations or nonprofits. Look at Unilever, the parent company of Ben & Jerry’s. A giant with enormous influence over consumers and governments alike. Imagine the impact if more companies of that scale consistently chose to stand up for values in ways that mattered to society.

And yet, compromise often becomes the default. It’s easy to criticize decisions like “selling out” to a larger corporation, but the reality is far more complex. For decades, Ben & Jerry’s managed to hold onto its original spirit within the Unilever structure. That in itself is remarkable.

Personally, I’ve never wanted to avoid “challenging industries” — I’ve worked in pharma, textiles, oil and gas — because I believe systems don’t change from the outside. They’re built by people, and they must be changed by people from within. But when compromise turns into betraying your own inner compass, the only choice left is to step away.

Free Tool: Define Your Core Values Ready to discover the values that drive your best decisions? Use our free guided exercise. Define your values →

The Role of the Inner Compass

So what guides us when the lines are blurred, when there’s no easy black-and-white answer?

For me, it’s the inner compass: core values.

Values are not just words on a wall. They are the daily practice that shapes decisions, behaviors, and ultimately, culture. When they’re ignored, trust erodes. When they’re lived, they create resilience, alignment, and impact.

Not everyone has their values fully clear — and that’s okay. Everyone moves at their own pace. But for leaders and organizations, clarity around values is not optional. It’s the foundation for integrity, and integrity is what builds trust both inside and outside the organization.

And here’s my personal line in the sand: if I ever start believing “If the system won’t change, then I can’t”, my life is over. Because what else would be left? Giving all my agency away? The day I stop believing in my capacity — our capacity — to act and influence systems, is the day I’ve surrendered the very thing that makes change possible.

Standing Up for What Matters

Leaving an organization is rarely just about leaving a job. It’s often about refusing to betray yourself.

The quiet battle that people like Jerry — and many of us — go through is one of the most under-discussed aspects of organizational life. It’s not about cynicism or “not being a team player.” It’s about the courage to hold onto values when it would be easier to look away.

If more leaders and organizations made decisions aligned with their core values — consistently and visibly — we would not only see healthier workplaces, but also stronger contributions to society.

Because in the end, organizations are not abstract systems. They are human systems. And it’s people, standing up again and again for what matters, who make change possible.